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…villian, and so on. Frodo, you first. Santa: *sitting in chair* Oh, goody! Jump right up here little one. Frodo: *settling on the Santa’s lap* Santa. I want to be…

…pixies, thought Santa. Didn’t they know they were slaves? Apparently they did not. Half the elves went on a hunger strike, and, being a extraordinarily cheap dwarf, Santa’s only thought…

…do you want! Telemarketer: How would you like to buy- Legolas: No! *hangs up* The phone rings Legolas: Screw Telemarketers!*slams phone down* The phone rings. Legolas: I hate you morons!…

…thematic elements (SLASH) and language. — “We hatesssssss our life, precioussss,” Gollum muttered, fiddling with a microphone. He looked at the end and began chewing on it, intent on destruction….

…stood in line for hours to buy tickets for the Movie’s New Zealand Premiere, only to find out that all of the tickets had been secretly sold weeks ago? To…

…someone sitting at the end of his bed. “Santa?” he asked sleepily. “No, not Santa, Gandalf,” replied the person at the end of the bed. “No, I think you’re Santa”…

…um, I guess it’s probably about three hours behind us. VOICES: Thank you! Line goes dead. Elrond stares at phone. Phone stares at Elrond. Elrond drops phone down onto his…

…I give you something to scream about.” Greta fell silent. The whole room fell silent, watching Greg as he slowly approached the Prime Minister, cell phone outstretched. The old man…

…the phone from a complaining Denny and called Theoden on his cell phone. “WHERE ARE YOU??” Gandalf yelled into the phone. “We’re close. Getting closer. Can you hear me now?”…

…But the man was already gone with Strider down the hall to the telephone. Strider picked up the payphone and dug around in his pockets. He groaned. ‘IÂ’m broke. Do…