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…Isildur arrives at Pelargir Jun 25 Muster of Pelargir begins Jun 27 Corsairs sail from Tolfalas; Gildor arrives at Pelargir Jun 28 Corsairs arrive at Ethir Anduin; Cirdan arrives at…

…may I help you? Pippin: *in a fake voice* Is Anita Hairwash there? Legolas: One minute. *on the PA system* Anita Hairwash. Anita Hairwash, you have a phone call. All…

…*jumps around* Frodo: AHHH!!! *jumps up and runs around* AHHH!!! Gollum: COME ON FRODO YOU CAN DO IT PUT A LITTLE MUSCLE TO IT!!! *does backflip* Frodo: AHHH!!! After a…

…a pause, “Huh. The dadÂ’s not saying anything. I wonder why.” “Ada, doesnÂ’t that guy look a bit too much like me…?” Legolas asked, softly. LegolasÂ’ father grunted, “He does…

…stood in line for hours to buy tickets for the Movie’s New Zealand Premiere, only to find out that all of the tickets had been secretly sold weeks ago? To…

…(In a think Austrian accent) Aragorn my love! The two EMBRACE. The CRACKING OF BONES can be heard. ARAGORN squeals, and Arwen drops him. ARWEN Sorry about dat. ARWEN turns…

…Elrond looks at phone curiously and takes it from Arwen. ELROND: I don’t know, Arwen. I will figure it out. Elrond puts phone up to ear (for some strange reason)…

The Fellowship of the Ring’s Destruction A parody by ESM PROLOGUE: Once upon a time, there was a man named Hesildur. There was also a Maia called Sauron. And an…

…in winter,” Eowyn answered GimliÂ’s question. “WhatÂ’s the time now?” Eomer asked. “Judging by the position of the sun, I would say it is aboutÂ…Â….” Aragorn said looking at the…

…and were met by an elf with a horse named Asfaloth. He placed Robin in the horse’s saddle and said, “Nora lim, Asfaloth.” The horse ran off and crossed the…