Smaug’s Solution (in Fanfiction)
…coming. Aragorn: Oh, let me, darling. Arwen: Hands off. Oh, alright, go ahead. Elrond: (mutters)I don’t know. Last time we let Aragorn use the phone he almost choked himself to…
…coming. Aragorn: Oh, let me, darling. Arwen: Hands off. Oh, alright, go ahead. Elrond: (mutters)I don’t know. Last time we let Aragorn use the phone he almost choked himself to…
…Arwen Umbrella, would you? Legolas: I am outraged! Man: Well, pardon me Miss Outraged, I’m looking for Arwen Umbrella. Elrond: She’s over there on the phone. Man: Now why would…
…discuss the ring! Senator E: Don’t be silly, we already fixed the vice-presidents phone. Sam:(standing up and pulling out a frying pan.) Don’t you be funny with Mister Frodo!! Senator…
…for a minute, then: BOROMIR: I saw this really awesome movie the other day- MEANWHILE… Elrond is trying to turn on phone. ELROND: For the love of Elbereth!! Turn on!!…
…~hobbitluver~: *sighs* Alright, fine. Somebody bring me a phone! The employee brings a phone to ~hobbitluver~. She answers it on speakerphone. ~hobbitluver~: Yeah, whaddaya want? A childish voice on the…
…Old Man: What is the land speed/velocity of an orc laden with one hobbit? Merry: (to himself) Well… it would depend on the age of the hobbit and the speed…
…silently for a few moments, then turned to their tasks. Some time later a long lean warship, bristling with lances, its bulwarks lined with the shields of a hundred warriors,…
…The boys say they want some ale and brekkist But I really don’t wanna Beer bust like I had last week I must stay deep ’cause talk is cheap I…
…laugh. ELROND: If you were gonna come here all this time then WHY IN THE NAME OF ELBERETH DID YOU CALL ME???!!! MIRANDA: I dunno. Elrond sighs and groans. MIRANDA:…