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…right! It’s over! I’m sick and tired of you trying on my dresses all the time! Elrond; You promised you’d never tell anyone! Celebrian; Never mind that! Listen to this…

…for a minute, then: BOROMIR: I saw this really awesome movie the other day- MEANWHILE… Elrond is trying to turn on phone. ELROND: For the love of Elbereth!! Turn on!!…

…~hobbitluver~: *sighs* Alright, fine. Somebody bring me a phone! The employee brings a phone to ~hobbitluver~. She answers it on speakerphone. ~hobbitluver~: Yeah, whaddaya want? A childish voice on the…

…time and date…and how long the orc had been running before acquiring a hobbit… and if you multiply the weight of the orcs armor times the weight of the hobbits…

…copied by Peregrin the First, Thain of the Shire, on his visit to Minas Tirith in the year 1441 [20 Fourth Age]. A few archaic terms and forms have been…

The Fellowship of the Ring’s Destruction A parody by ESM PROLOGUE: Once upon a time, there was a man named Hesildur. There was also a Maia called Sauron. And an…

Orckies and Evil Minions This is Mordor number 5 One, two, three, four, five Everybody on the Nazgul, so come on let’s ride To the Green Dragon around the corner…

…Githoniel… FIGURE: Nope. And why do you keep saying her name all the time. What, did you guys like have a relationship back in the First Age or something? ELROND…

ELROND: Hey, that’s an insult! MIRANDA: Sorry. ELROND (casually): Soooo, what’s gonna happen in the…War of the Ring, did you say? MIRANDA: I’m not going to tell you! You’d ruin…