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…for a minute, then: BOROMIR: I saw this really awesome movie the other day- MEANWHILE… Elrond is trying to turn on phone. ELROND: For the love of Elbereth!! Turn on!!…

…~hobbitluver~: *sighs* Alright, fine. Somebody bring me a phone! The employee brings a phone to ~hobbitluver~. She answers it on speakerphone. ~hobbitluver~: Yeah, whaddaya want? A childish voice on the…

…a miracle Bilbo and Elrond: Bye bye! * Trying to cross mountains* Boromir: This will be the death of the hobbits! Gandalf: What?! (cell phone rings, LOTR ring tone) Legolas:…

…breaths, watching the long, long line of soldiers winding up behind them like ants climbing a rock wall. “Do you think the land will ever recover?” asked Elendur sadly, snapping…

Orckies and Evil Minions This is Mordor number 5 One, two, three, four, five Everybody on the Nazgul, so come on let’s ride To the Green Dragon around the corner…

Elrond finishes up coucil, sits down in chair and sighs. ELROND: This has not been my day. Suddenly, flash of light from behind him makes him turn and get out…

ELROND: Hey, that’s an insult! MIRANDA: Sorry. ELROND (casually): Soooo, what’s gonna happen in the…War of the Ring, did you say? MIRANDA: I’m not going to tell you! You’d ruin…

…France from the eighth century to 987 and centering on Charlemagne (742-814; ruled 768-814, created Emperor 800) They seem to have played little role in Tolkien’s imagination–though he used some…

…smile, he politely thanked the Nazgul and waited as Rosie exchanged phone numbers with the Wraith. “You’ll love the Shire,” she was saying. “It’s very family friendly.” “That’s just what…