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…for a minute, then: BOROMIR: I saw this really awesome movie the other day- MEANWHILE… Elrond is trying to turn on phone. ELROND: For the love of Elbereth!! Turn on!!…

…~hobbitluver~: *sighs* Alright, fine. Somebody bring me a phone! The employee brings a phone to ~hobbitluver~. She answers it on speakerphone. ~hobbitluver~: Yeah, whaddaya want? A childish voice on the…

…a miracle Bilbo and Elrond: Bye bye! * Trying to cross mountains* Boromir: This will be the death of the hobbits! Gandalf: What?! (cell phone rings, LOTR ring tone) Legolas:…

…But now our neighbors are our friends. And we Eredrim have not been idle. We number nearer a hundred thousands now, and we have villages in every bay of the…

…what’s one plus one gross? THE SHIRE (ABOUT 100 PERSONS): 145!!! Bilbo: And what’s the number of people at my party minus me? At this, Bilbo put The One Key…

Orckies and Evil Minions This is Mordor number 5 One, two, three, four, five Everybody on the Nazgul, so come on let’s ride To the Green Dragon around the corner…

…speech! Everyone CHEERS. BILBO I like some of you half as much as I know half of you three fourths of a large number of you seem to be a…

Elrond finishes up coucil, sits down in chair and sighs. ELROND: This has not been my day. Suddenly, flash of light from behind him makes him turn and get out…

ELROND: Hey, that’s an insult! MIRANDA: Sorry. ELROND (casually): Soooo, what’s gonna happen in the…War of the Ring, did you say? MIRANDA: I’m not going to tell you! You’d ruin…