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…(In a think Austrian accent) Aragorn my love! The two EMBRACE. The CRACKING OF BONES can be heard. ARAGORN squeals, and Arwen drops him. ARWEN Sorry about dat. ARWEN turns…

The Fellowship of the Ring’s Destruction A parody by ESM PROLOGUE: Once upon a time, there was a man named Hesildur. There was also a Maia called Sauron. And an…

…with the pleasantries. Take him to the car,” Sandra declared after straightening herself up and wiping the blood from her torn lip. She appeared not at all angry about being…

The Amazing Race “And we are announcing the teams now,” boomed the voice of Elrond. All of Gondor watched with interest and excitement. Gondor and Rivendell were sponsoring an Amazing…

…I do all to Conquer a land like your home ‘Cause you can’t run and you can’t hide You are gunna run and I’m gunna kill you Mordor number 5!…

…(confused): Huh? Smoke clears, and he sees it’s a girl. Wearing oddly crazy (to him) clothes. ELROND: Tell me who you are! GIRL: Miranda. Elrond groans. Miranda tries not to…

…ELROND: NO! ARWEN comes in, curious about all the noise. ARWEN (confused): Huh? ELROND and MIRANDA look at each other in horror. ELROND and MIRANDA (together): Uh-oh… TO BE CONTINUED……

…Ogbert and Pegolas got a free hair-care coupon. And they all got a hamper and elven raincoats. They left in rowboats, reinforced with Stik Eetape, an elven adhesive. After several…

…out into the torchlight. Then they dropped him onto the floor. “Who are you?” one of them asked. “N-no one,” Erishnak replied. “Answer correctly!” “Ju-just an orcling.” “Your number?” “Number?”…