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August 8, 2003, 4:15 p.m. In a press conference held earlier today in downtown Los Angeles, Gollum officially announced his candidacy in the upcoming California Governor Recall Election. Gollum will…

…for a minute, then: BOROMIR: I saw this really awesome movie the other day- MEANWHILE… Elrond is trying to turn on phone. ELROND: For the love of Elbereth!! Turn on!!…

…~hobbitluver~: *sighs* Alright, fine. Somebody bring me a phone! The employee brings a phone to ~hobbitluver~. She answers it on speakerphone. ~hobbitluver~: Yeah, whaddaya want? A childish voice on the…

…a miracle Bilbo and Elrond: Bye bye! * Trying to cross mountains* Boromir: This will be the death of the hobbits! Gandalf: What?! (cell phone rings, LOTR ring tone) Legolas:…

…comes it here?” “The work was done long ago by Fornen, our city’s greatest artisan. Linhir was founded by Númenórean mariners, as were Pelargir and Anglond, and even Umbar far…

Orckies and Evil Minions This is Mordor number 5 One, two, three, four, five Everybody on the Nazgul, so come on let’s ride To the Green Dragon around the corner…

Elrond finishes up coucil, sits down in chair and sighs. ELROND: This has not been my day. Suddenly, flash of light from behind him makes him turn and get out…

ELROND: Hey, that’s an insult! MIRANDA: Sorry. ELROND (casually): Soooo, what’s gonna happen in the…War of the Ring, did you say? MIRANDA: I’m not going to tell you! You’d ruin…

…harrumphed followed before the patient retorted grumpily, “Moses will do. I suppose under the circumstances I am in no position to take the high ground when it comes to sanity.”…