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…with his wife Rose when little Elanor posed the question. “Daddy, what’s this book?” Sam looked down fondly at his six-year-old daughter, before considering the book she held up to…

…for a minute, then: BOROMIR: I saw this really awesome movie the other day- MEANWHILE… Elrond is trying to turn on phone. ELROND: For the love of Elbereth!! Turn on!!…

…~hobbitluver~: *sighs* Alright, fine. Somebody bring me a phone! The employee brings a phone to ~hobbitluver~. She answers it on speakerphone. ~hobbitluver~: Yeah, whaddaya want? A childish voice on the…

…a miracle Bilbo and Elrond: Bye bye! * Trying to cross mountains* Boromir: This will be the death of the hobbits! Gandalf: What?! (cell phone rings, LOTR ring tone) Legolas:…

The scene in the film comprises only a small amount of the chapter “The Riders of Rohan” in the book, which starts with the Three Hunters finding out the Orcs…

…be to your liking”, he said, offering the book to the child. Brithla took the book carefully, like a sacred object, and read the words on the cover slowly. “The…

…READ THE BOOK: Are you sure they’re not petty criminals? PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOK: I…um…all right, they stole stuff in the book too. But they’re high-class criminals with…

…settle for the “windblown” look. Hmm.. This is a good book..*puts book under robe along with Loogie Lessons* *Starts looking again* What is this! *finds a book called The History…

…submit material rated NC-17”? Those stupid Dwarves read the book, and were doomed. Gandalf glanced at the hybrid with concern. Gimli stood and processed the information. GIMLI: And you were…

Orckies and Evil Minions This is Mordor number 5 One, two, three, four, five Everybody on the Nazgul, so come on let’s ride To the Green Dragon around the corner…