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…a Wal*Mart bonus pack of men’s over-calf tube socks* I would ask only for the strength to defend my people… Frodo: Well THAT’S comforting. *sigh* Num– V2: *tunnel cell-phone…if the…

…game on his cell phone. “What a great idea,” thought Legolas, who immediently whipped out his own phone and selected a game. Suddenly, Boromir shouted out in his sleep: “I…

…inspired in the elves the dark memories of Angband and Melkor’s Iron fortress. However, the steel beast made no effort to accost them, merely continuing through the ocean, oblivious to…

…SO SEXY! GO OUT WITH ME! MY PHONE NUMBER IS 817-302-4114! CALL ME! Love, Alexandria P.S. I LOVE YOU! To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Thanks! Thank you so much for…

…[email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: CALL ME!!!! LEGOLAS YOU ARE SO SEXY! GO OUT WITH ME! MY PHONE NUMBER IS 817-302-4114! CALL ME! Love, Alexandria P.S. I LOVE YOU! Legolas doesnÂ’t…

…before an insane little girl named River. Soon the number of enemies was dwindling, and the Fellowship suddenly realized that they could actually lend a hand. Their pitiful contribution was…

…fire-walls on our computers to stop the Viral Spam from being accepted by our inboxes?” “That’s a good idea!” says Gandalf, “Does anyone have an e-mail address or phone number…

…film, it’s just a stupid parody designed to get a few cheap laughs. Elrond: Look, can we MOVE IT ALONG a bit? They’re having a sale on purple gowns in…

…air-ATCHOO! Setting: Bag End Gandalf: I AM NOT SOME SCANDRAL OF CHEAP TRICKS! (lights dim) IÂ’M NOT TRYING TO ROB YOU! (lights flicker) IÂ’m trying to help you. Peter/Director: CUT!…

…pixies, thought Santa. Didn’t they know they were slaves? Apparently they did not. Half the elves went on a hunger strike, and, being a extraordinarily cheap dwarf, Santa’s only thought…