Take your seats, take your seats, the bus tour is about to begin. There’s still some room in the back, if you don’t mind standing… Okay, everyone have a place? Nobody still thinks this is the bus to Chicago? Good. Let’s get rolling.

My name is Nauma, and I’ll be your tour guide today. …Yes, I know you all wanted to meet Abraon, the Realm Head, but she’s been unavoidably detained. Something about a Josh Groban concert. Anyway, I’m Nauma, one of Yavanna’s two Realm Leaders. You’ll see lots of other Yavannildi on our trip through the Realm. Don’t worry, they’re friendly, gentle creatures and not likely to attempt to eat the bus, I hope.

While we’re still on our way to the Realm, we’ll start with some information about Yavanna herself. The Realm is named after Yavanna Kementári, one of the Valar. Yavanna was very close to the earth and loved all things green and growing. Some of her more famous creations include the Two Trees of Valinor, which she sang into existence, and the race of Ents. She was also the wife of Aulë; in fact, Yavanna created the Ents to protect her trees from Aulë’s Dwarves (typical man- create the one thing that’s absolutely certain to ruin his wife’s garden… oh, sorry, is the mike still on?). If you want to know more about Yavanna, consult your copy of The Silmarillion, or ask me after the tour.

Well, we’ve arrived at the outer borders of the Realm, and if you’ll look out your windows you’ll see the Virtual Garden. This is where the Yavannildi share their gardening efforts with the world. Several members have their own sections of garden here, with flowers, herbs, vegetables, and even some poems, I believe. On your right, you’ll see a large patch of purple flowers; those are my African violets, of which I am particularly proud. (Yes, they’re the only thing I’ve managed to keep alive. I’m just an amateur gardener, okay?)

Okay, moving on.

We’re about to enter the inner circles of the Realm. We’ll just have to make a quick stop at customs. Nobody’s importing anything illegal, right? …And just so you know, any chocolate in plain sight will be confiscated. Why? Um… as part of our official investigations. Top secret. Certainly not for personal consumption. …Why do I have chocolate on my lips? Please hold your questions until the end of the tour. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, customs has cleared us and we’re ready to go through.

That delicious smell you’ve noticed is coming from the Recipe exchange thread. That’s where you’ll learn how to make all kinds of wonderful food for every palate, including vegetarians, chocoholics, and those who just want something yummy. There’s even a recipe for Oliphant stew floating around. Some of these recipes have made it into Pippin’s Cupboard; others may be shared in a recipe swap with another Realm. There’s always a new dish in this part of the Realm that I’m just aching to try, even with my rather meager cooking abilities. And please ignore the large stockpile of confiscated chocolate bars. They’re not eating the chocolate; they’re examining its health benefits in an ongoing clinical trial. It’s got antioxidants, you know.

Coming up on the left, you’ll see the Virtual Orchestra practicing in the park. Many of the Yavannildi are also gifted musicians, and all kinds of music are welcome here. Classical music is very popular, as is honorary Realm member Josh Groban, but everything from Celtic music to heavy metal finds a place in the Realm. The instruments in the orchestra include recorder, piano, hand bells, saxophone, electric guitar, and some computer-synthesized instruments, just as a sample, but somehow we make them go well together. The fact that they mostly don’t all play at the same time seems to help.

Straight ahead you’ll see the playground, where Yavannildi from very young to… slightly less young all play together. There are lots of fun and silly games going on, including a Stupid Question, Stupid Answer game and a role-playing game. You can also see art by various Realm members hanging on the garden walls. Yavannildi also meet here to chat and set up games of online Pictionary, among other things.

We’re heading out of the Realm now, and I must ask you to give up any chocolate you may have left on your persons. Thank you. Ahem. The tour is pretty much over, unless you have any questions for me. Also, please be sure to stop by the gift shop and pick up your souvenirs. I hope you enjoyed your tour of the Realm. If you are interested in becoming a member of the Realm of Yavanna, check out our Realm page, which has lots of information and a coupon for free admission! (Yeah, okay, so admission’s always free. But doesn’t it sound good?)

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