Interview with Legolas:

So, Legolas, what did you like least about being part of the Fellowship?

Always chasing filthy, smelly orcs, and having to listen to Gimli whine because he can’t run as fast as Aragorn and me.

I heard that Gimli won the contest you two had at Helm’s Deep.

By one orc! One @#$%-ing Orc!!!! Now, he never shuts up about it! It’s enough to drive an elf mad!

*I mumble, you already are*

I AM NOT!!! I am perfectly sane!!! I am always calm and collected!!! How dare you imply that I’m not!!!

Uh-huh, sure.

Anyways, elves have good hearing so its unwise to mumble around them. *he glares at me*

I’ll try to remember that. So, how old are you anyway?

I am 672! That stupid Peter Jackson said I was 2931! How messed up is that?!?! Where did he get that??? Do I seem like I’m that old? NO! Ada’s always yelling at me to act more mature, telling me I’m just an elfling! I am not an elfling, but I AM NOT 2931!!!!!!

Right! Well, PJ had issues. He killed Haldir.

What?!?! What kind of sick person would kill a nice guy like Hal???

I have no idea. So, did you ever meet Gollum while he was in Mirkwood?

*Ahem* I might have *he mumbles unintelligably*

Uh, what did you say? I missed that last part.

I said STUPID GOLLUM! OK?!?!

Uh. . .

Stupid Gollum escaped, and it wasn’t my fault! How was I supposed to know that he would climb the tree and not come back down? It wasn’t my fault! Got it???

Uh. . .ok.

*he storms off*

Um. . .bye.

A/N: I read a very convincing article thingy saying Legolas was somewhere around 500-800 years old. 672 is a random number I came up with. For some reason I couldn’t write about Legolas without him having serious anger problems. Sorry!