A/N: Okay, hereÂ’s the next chapter! Once again, if there is a fangirl with your name and you felt offended, I am really sorry. There is only one person whose name I have put in here on purpose, and that was because she asked me to. IÂ’m also sorry if the formatting is messed up, because it isnÂ’t on my computer. Also, keep in mind that Eryn Lasgalen is the later name of Mirkwood. Legolas dwelt in Ithilien after the War of the Rings (or was it Ring?). The way I see it is that Thranduil granted his son permission to establish a colony in Ithilien, but Legolas still has his prince duties back at home. This is so you donÂ’t get confused.
A/N2:IÂ’m so sorry, I just realized that I never put a disclaimer in! To quote Roseblade22: I. DonÂ’t. Own. Any. Of. TolkienÂ’s. Masterpieces. Ugh.
As always, please review if you want more!

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: (none)

Legolas,
The only reason I hacked off their warrior braids was because they fed the handle of my throwing axe to the fire!
I donÂ’t care about an angry Elven lord. IÂ’ll never see him again anyway.
Why are you complaining about the Tower of Ecthelion, youÂ’re an Elf! I thought Elves were supposed to have perfect balance. Or are you just afraid of heights?
-Gimli

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: A visit

My son:

How is everything going in Ithilien? You have been down there for awhile.

I think its high time that you came back to Eryn Lasgalen for awhile. At least a year. You are still her prince, and there are duties you have to do.

The only problem is, I am currently renovating some areas in the palace, and the project wonÂ’t be done for a month, give or take a few days. So I conferred with Lord Elrond, and we decided that you could come up to Rivendell and stay there until we are ready to have you come up to Eryn Lasgalen. Since Lord Elrond, his sons, and a few others will be coming up to see me at that time anyway, we both agreed that this would be very convenient.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Your father,

Thranduil

P.S. DonÂ’t even try to get out of this. I know about the war between you and the twins. Consider this your punishment for painting their horses and the Valar know what else.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: I LUV U

omg legolas u r so cool will u marry me u no u want 2 plez i swear iÂ’ll luv u 4eva unles i meet will and then i might cheat on u coz will is hot 2 so will u marry me anna
ps i promised my friend i wouldnt say like and i didnt

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your visit

Prince Legolas,

I just wanted to confirm your visit. We expect you three weeks from now.

My sons are currently washing their horses for the fourteenth time. They send their regards (actually, I send their regards).

-Lord Elrond

P.S. VAIN?! HOW DARE YOU THINK MY ADDRESS IS VAIN! IF YOU WERENÂ’T THE SON OF THRANDUIL I WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU! MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IS NOT VAIN IN THE LEAST! I DONÂ’T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD THINK SUCH A THING LIKE THAT!

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Too bad

Dear Legolas,
My father e-mailed me and told me that you were going to visit Rivendell until you went up to Mirkwood. I feel sorry for you. YouÂ’ll be stuck with Elladan and Elrohir who most likely have revenge on the brain because you got them in trouble. Ada also says that the twins havenÂ’t gotten the paint off of their horses off yet. They still have another wash to go. They deserve it.
Sincerely,
Arwen

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Newsletter

Hurry up! This is the last week you have to subscribe to our best-selling magazine, Exterminator! Each issue has in-depth articles on how to get rid of Pesky Fangirls™, tons of repellent, and fascinating true stories about Middle-earth residents who were plagued by Pesky Fangirls™, along with our very own advice columnist, Gebrir the Sylvan Elf! A one (mortal) year subscription is just $12.99 plus shipping and handling! If you want to subscribe, send a postcard with your name, place of residence, and e-mail address to:

Or you can send us an e-mail at [email protected] with your name, place of residence, and e-mail address. Hurry! Only one week left!

With best regards,
The Staff of the Pesky Fangirls™ magazine

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Do I have to?

My son:

Yes, of course you have to go. I told you not to try to get out of your visit.

As for me finding out about the series of pranks you, Aragorn, and the twins played on each other, I have my ways.

Your father,

Thranduil

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: (none)

Dear Legolas,

OMG I canÂ’t believe I got your e-mail address! www.fangurlz.net is the best website on the planet! They have thousands of pictures of you, Orlando (hothothothothot!!!!), and every other hot person worth knowing! And their e-mail addresses too!

OMG Legolas you have to go out on a date with me! And we have to see a movie with you or Orlando (hothothothothot!!!!) in it! At my house! My address is:

IsnÂ’t Love Lane the most romantic name? I should know: I live there! Surprising, huh? Anyway, write me as soon as you can! I canÂ’t wait to meet you!

Love forever and always,

Samantha

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Earlier visit to Gondor

Prince Legolas,

Apology accepted.

Elladan and Elrohir finally got the paint off of their horses. They are no longer grounded, for I believe they just might have learned a lesson (although IÂ’m not too sure about that one).

Yes, I did tell your father about the pranks. Why?

-Lord Elrond

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Revenge

Legolas,
We canÂ’t believe you told on us! Our ada made us wash our horses all fifteen times! He was going to have Glorfindel and Erestor help us, but then you told ada that we had e-mailed you and he made us do it ourselves. YouÂ’re really in for it this time.
See you,
Elladan and Elrohir

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Hello!

Hi Legolas! I just got this e-mail address and I decided to e-mail everyone I knew. IÂ’ve also been gathering other peopleÂ’s e-mail addresses. Believe it or not, I e-mailed Aragorn (he wrote and told me his e-mail address) and he says that Boromir has an e-address! He doesnÂ’t know what it is, but he e-mails his mother and father and they told him that. He just needs to ask them what it is. In case you were wondering, apparently they set up e-mail addresses for the dead.
Anyway, I hope youÂ’re doing alright. Pippin has become the Thain (sort of like a governor to us). And he married a girl named Diamond! That hasnÂ’t stopped his practical jokes, however. He still performs outrageous stunts with Merry, who ended up marrying Estella Bolger. Sam married Rosie Cotton (the one he no doubt told you about), and has a daughter named Elanor. He is now the Mayor. He, Rosie, and Elanor live in Bag End.
I was given the choice of having my e-mail address be @grey.havens, but I like shire.com better.
E-mail me back!
Frodo Baggins

P.S. Bilbo said to send his regards to your father.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: I lve you!

Lelgoas,
i love yuo sooo much! Isnt ti great that I got yur email adres? Wow. Cna you beleive how hot you r? I no! Niether can i! Can u go out wth me? Pleeze? I luv you the most out of evry fangurl! U no i do. your sexy. Pleeze go out with me. u no you want 2 lov meÂ… com on of corse yuo do!
luv anelith wood

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Bilbo

My son:

IÂ’m glad BilboÂ’s nephew is doing alright. I was just wondering what Bilbo had been up to recently. To answer your question, I met him right before he left with Mithrandir after the Battle of Five Armies.

Anyway, IÂ’m looking forward to seeing you in a month.

Your father,

Thranduil

P.S. Please tell the fangirls to stop e-mailing you! A few of the letters have found their way into my inbox!

To: Legolas Elladan and Elrohir Arwen Aragorn Lord Elrond Lady Galadriel King Thranduil Lord Glorfindel Lord Celeborn Orophin Rúmil
From: haldir@ladyÂ’sguard.org
Subject: Forward

Hey! Fill this in about me and send a copy to all of your friends, including me! Hopefully everyone will fill this out about you too. Once again, Orophin sent this to me (this is about him).

Am I cute?- ThatÂ’s a good joke.
Am I sweet?- As much as a lemon.
Am I crazy?- Not yet.
Am I lovable?- Hello, this is my brother weÂ’re talking about here!
Am I funny?- Yes, especially when you get drunk!
Am I annoying?- Of course brother dear.
Am I psycho?- See ‘am I crazy’.
Am I daring?- When youÂ’re drunk.
Am I a good person?- Yes. As much as I hate to admit it, yes.

******Would You******

Hug me?- HelloÂ… youÂ’re my brother!
Miss me if I was gone?- Yes.
Listen to my problems?- Yes.
Hug me if I cried?- Of course.
Be a good friend?- Well, you know, this IS my brother hereÂ…

******Questions for the Opposite Sex******

Would you ever go out with me?- Ugh.
If you already have would you do it again?- EwÂ… nasty imagesÂ…
Kiss me ((Really))?- On the forehead.
Marry me if you could?- NO!
Ever talk bad about me if we ever break up?- NO! Cause we are NOT breaking up considering we CANÂ’T on account of the fact that we donÂ’t love each other THAT way!

******How Well Do You Know Me?******

When’s my birthday?- June 6.
How old am I?- 3,854
What school do I go to?- No school.
Do I have any siblings?- Yes! Me and Rúmil!
Who is my most current ex?- What?
Who is my best friend?- Pebring.
Who am I crushing on/dating?- I forget her nameÂ… the one you talked to when you were drunk and she slapped youÂ…
Favorite color?- Silver.
Lucky number?- 456.
What is my worst subject?- Sword-fighting.
Best subject?- Archery.
Biggest pet peeve?- Me.
Favorite animal?- Birds.
Favorite sport?- Archery.
Favorite movie?- 10 Ways to Get Drunk.
Favorite TV show?- Alcoholic Addicts.
Favorite song/songs?- I Love Archery, by Britney Sears! SheÂ’s hotÂ…
Favorite music group?- Britney Sears. It runs in the family.

******Who Am I******

What TV star do I most remind you of?- Orlando Bloom.
What song would you dedicate to me?- Drink for the Stars!
What famous person do I most resemble?- Orlando Bloom kind of.

******If You Could…******

Give me a new name it would be?- Tinaldor
Hook me up with someone (real) who would it would be?- Britney Sears. Oh wait, sheÂ’s mine.
Do one thing with me it would be?- Archery.
Drop me one piece of advice it would be ?- Stop getting drunk so often!
Make me stop hanging out with someone who would it
be?- Any wine-addicted friend of yours.

******Just A Few Questions******

What do you love about me?- UhÂ… lemme get back to thatÂ…
What do you hate about me(seriously)?- The fact that you get drunk so much!
What is my best quality?- Your archery skills.
If you could change one thing about me it would be?- YouÂ’d be sober more often.

So come on! Fill it out, send it back to me, and send a blank copy to your friends!
-Haldir

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Haldir

Prince Legolas:

Can you please tell Haldir not to send me any forwards? I do not wish to have them clogging up my inbox. I can tell that he is one of those people who just loves to send lots and lots of those e-mails. I hate them. So please tell him to stop.

Thank you,
Lord Glorfindel

P.S. I canÂ’t wait to see you again. Neither can Elladan and Elrohir. Although IÂ’m not sure if you would think that thatÂ’s a good thing.

A/N: Lol, another forward! I love those things! BTW, if you guys get any forwards asking questions, feel free to send them to [email protected] (or via PM) because I would love to get some new ideas. Okay, Gebrir is ‘Hater of Pesky FangirlsÂ’, which I plugged into the Lord of the Rings UK name translator, along with Pebring, which means RúmilÂ’s friend, and Tinaldor, which means drunk.

Responses to Reviewers:

Essenya Alyssa: I’m not sure if I’ve already PMed you about this, but feel free to use the forwards! The same goes to everyone. But if, for some reason, you decide to keep Haldir/Legolas’ answers, just acknowledge where they came from somewhere.

lissewen: Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed the last chapter- I hope it was the same for this one!

Shirozora: Yes, I do agree; I feel bad for the Three Hunters! Ah well… I’m sure they will do alright in the end…

kuroi: ^_^ I’m happy you enjoyed the characterizations- in particular, I had to do a bit of revising over the Haldir/Britney Sears thing (he originally called her a hot chick) before I was satisfied.

LothlomeElenfana: Thanks for the compliment! I hope you were amused by this chapter as well.

Elbereth Taralom: Hehe, I also like The Two Twins Sent Personally From Hell to Ruin Estel’s Life. (Ha! I managed to NOT use the copy/paste feature!)

Hope to hear more soon.

Well… considering your review was on September 9th, it’s not exactly soon, but you have heard from me.